"We don't bake any more pizzas, Sir... would you like some elastic bread instead?"

The Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, has always made a big effort to show the world his lack of knowledge and general culture. And now he's is seeking more complex ways to show how little he cares about being ignorant, while he wants us to know how much he hates the western people, all of whom are "infidels". And it seems that those nuclear weapons that he's producing in his mysterious facilities (to which not even any UN employee, observer or representative has access) aren't just enough to calm his rage.
Now he decided to take a more cultural revolution to achieve his islamic goals: from now on, all the foreign words are banned from Persian (Farsi), the national language in Iran. And just to avoid the usage of any word that can be possibly linked by any means to any kind of western culture, he asked the Farsi Language and Literature Academy, which is the highest authority in Persian language concerns, to modify all those common use foreign words so they can be expressed in other terms with Persian roots.
Here are the results of some of these bizarre modifications:

• PIZZA - Oh! No, no, no!!! This is a terrible word that was taken from Italian! Let's not respect the Italians and their culture, and let's call that dish ELASTIC BREAD instead.
• CELL PHONE - What? How can an American word mix into our Farsi language? That's blasphemy, let's ban that and recall such gadget as PARTNER PHONE.
• CHAT - Another western-made expression that doesn't fit Farsi. The appropiate name for that tool must be BRIEF CONVERSATION.
• FAX - Hum, to be honest I really have no idea on what's the origin of that word; however it sounds western and devilish. It'd be a better idea to rename it LONG DISTANCE WRITING.

Those are the words that I've been able to investigate so far, but if you know any other new terms to be used in Farsi, please write a message and share it with us!!